I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
