She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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