just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Randomize
