remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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