if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
