9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
