I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
