U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
