Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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