did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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