I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
