you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
