i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Are we still banned from the library?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
