The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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