where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
