is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
