Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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