There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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