I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
