one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
