haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
