You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
