Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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