bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
