id be glad to
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
