I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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