The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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