No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
