If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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