he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
