just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
