New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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