Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
where does the pee come out of this thing
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
