Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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