I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
