Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
