Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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