My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
i think my cat just said my name.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
