I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
