I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
should my penis look like a turkey
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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