I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
