Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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