Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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