my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Did I show you my penis last night?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
