My liver just broke up with me...
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
