So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
