Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
