You can't motorboat a personality
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
