it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
