I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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