You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Randomize
