I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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