but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
