Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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