You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
