After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
