1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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