Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize