his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
