I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
