toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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