and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
