She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
