my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
