did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
